BILL OF NO RIGHTS

DEAL WITH IT AMERICA. WE THE PEOPLE ARE FOR FREEDOM

The Bill Of No Rights:


We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone maintain dignity and liberty, restore some semblance of justice, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free responsibility to ourselves and our great, great grandchildren hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, deluded, and other "we-are-victims" bed-wetting snivelers.
We hold these truths to be self evident: That a whole lot of people are confused by The Bill of Rights and so mind-numbingly dim as to require a Bill of No Rights. God gave Two great Commandments - both positive - then found one day that few were listening - so He clarified with Ten - most negative - so humans would better understand. Our founding fathers did the same - a Bill of Rights.
Well, as before, it's useful and necessary for another simplification:
ARTICLE I
You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, college education or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you legally obtain them but no one is guaranteeing anything!
ARTICLE II
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on liberty, which means freedom for everybody - not just you! You may leave the room, change the channel, express an alternate view, refuse to see the movie/read the book, etc. But the place is full of "others" and always will be.
ARTICLE III
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye learn to be more careful - do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy as reward for lack of individual responsibility. You're free to not wear a motorcycle helmet, but when you crack your cranium on the concrete, you're not free to force me to pay all/part of your doctor bills. You have no right to anything that coercively places a burden on another human being!
ARTICLE IV
You do not have the right to "free" food and housing.
We Americans are the most charitable people on earth and most willingly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generations of professional goldbrickers and couch potatoes who produce nothing but excuses and more of the same.
ARTICLE V
You do not have the right to "free" health care.
It might sound nice, but all tends to indicate such a system would have the speed of the Postal Service, the efficiency of the Planning Commission and all the compassion of the Internal Revenue Service.
Sorry, we're just not interested!
ARTICLE VI
You do not have the right to harm other people.
If you willingly kidnap, rape, maim or kill someone, don't be surprised if many of us want to see you fry and would gladly throw the freaking switch on behalf of your victim(s)!
ARTICLE VII
You do not have a right to the property of others.
If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods and/or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if you get locked away someplace miserable where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV!
ARTICLE VIII
You do not have the right to demand the young risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience.
We hate oppressive governments, and won't lift a finger to stop you from going off to fight if you like. However, we don't enjoy spanking the rest of the world for the glory of the Vatican and don't wish to continue spending ourselves into oblivious debt against every tinhorn dictator with a rag on his damned head!
ARTICLE IX
You do not have the right to a job.
We sure want you to have one, and we'll gladly help you get on your feet when you're down, but you are expected to do your part by taking advantage of the almost endless opportunities for education and vocational training laid before you - and make yourself useful!
ARTICLE X
You do not have the right to happiness.
Being an American means you have the right to persue happiness - which is a hell of a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic rules, regulations and laws created by idol-worshipping fools too willfully ignorant to understand the original Bill of Rights!